


That's What She Said

by bob2ff



Series: Miracles Hijinks [2]
Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Bad Puns, Double Entendre, Gen, Humor, Puns & Word Play
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-24
Updated: 2014-04-24
Packaged: 2018-01-19 09:44:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1464742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bob2ff/pseuds/bob2ff
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Aomine discovers juvenile double entendre humour. The rest of the Miracles aren’t so amused. </p><p>Warning: Lots of inappropriate, juvenile double entendres. The kind of thing 13 to 14-year-old boys (and me, too, shamelessly) find hilarious.</p><p>  <em>“Kuroko, don’t just lie there,” Midorima had scolded loftily one practice session, as Kuroko lay face planted down on the gym floor after a particularly vicious round of laps.</em></p><p><em>“Wow Midorima, give him a break. Sometimes you have to do </em>some<em> of the work, you know,” Aomine had said, grinning widely.</em></p>
            </blockquote>





	That's What She Said

**Author's Note:**

> Written for BPS' Challenge 66 (Puns).

It first started in their first year at Teikou. To be honest, it was to be expected from boys first hitting their teenage years. Aomine was the worst of them all, though.

“Kuroko, don’t just lie there,” Midorima had scolded loftily one practice session, as Kuroko lay face planted down on the gym floor after a particularly vicious round of laps.

“Wow Midorima, give him a break. Sometimes you have to do  _some_  of the work, you know,” Aomine had said, grinning widely.

It had taken a second, but when Midorima eventually got it, he had flushed red all the way to the tips of his ears, and could not even splutter coherently, as Aomine walked away whistling.

Kuroko had just pointedly passed the ball, hard, into Aomine’s gut the next training session they had.

***

It even happened during tournaments.

“It’s a risk,” Akashi looked determinedly at the scoreboard. “But I’m sure we could do it.”

"Yeah, but can we do it  _well enough_  to go all the way?” Nijimura demanded, seriously. The entire team was tense, waiting for their next strategic direction to change the flow of the game towards their favour.

All except for Aomine. “It’s normal guys, sometimes there are good nights, sometimes there are bad nights,” Aomine had added reassuringly.

Needless to say, the opposing team, and the spectators, were surprised to see Teikou’s ace and supposed unstoppable scorer benched the next quarter of the match, a huge bump on his head, red spot blooming on his forehead.

***

“Ah, it can’t fit in any more…” Murasakibara stared in dismay at his locker, overflowing with snacks.

“That’s what she said!” Aomine said, falling over laughing uproariously. By then, most of them had learnt to ignore him on principle.

“Throw some away then,” Midorima suggested disapprovingly.

“But there won’t be enough!” Murasakibara said.

Aomine sniggered. “Don’t you understand, Midorima? Murasakibara needs a lot to  _satisfy_  him.”

Man, Midorima’s reactions were  _the best_. He always turned an interesting shade of red.

***

It had gotten worse their 2nd year. Kise joined in, as he always thought Aominechii did everything  _cool_  and  _right_.

“Aomine-kun, look at your  _shoes_!” Momoi shrieked as she glared at his muddy shoes, fresh after a one-on-one game with Kise in the outdoor courts. ”You’re so dirty!”

Kise had brightened. “That’s how he likes it, Momoichii,” he laughed.

Aomine cheered. “Good one, Kise!”

Momoi had stomped her foot. “Ki-chan!”

But then her own lips had twitched with the desire to laugh despite herself as she retorted, “You guys always go at it too roughly anyways!”

Both Aomine and Kise fell over themselves laughing, rolling on the gym floor.

***

“You’re a great ball-handler, Akashi,” Aomine had told him with as straight a face as he could possibly muster.

Akashi had stared blankly at him. Then he said, “Just concentrate on your dribble penetration, Aomine-kun.”

Aomine had clutched his stomach in laughter, tears coming out of his eyes.

Of course, he wasn’t laughing so much when he saw his personalized training menu next practice session.

***

"Get it in, Midorimachii!" Kise yelled as he passed the ball, lightning quick to him. And of course Midorima did, the beautiful arc of his shot netting their opponent’s annihilation.

"Come on Kise, we’re in public! No one wants to hear your bedroom talk," Aomine yelled, laughing.

Midorima had spluttered, Kise had rolled around laughing, and Kuroko had shoved a towel in Aomine’s face as they celebrated yet another win.

***

The jokes had diminished by the time they got to third year.

“What if I’m too big?” Murasakibara stared doubtfully at the van that would drive them to their away tournaments. He hated long drives.

No one had said anything. Kuroko had glanced around for Aomine, but he was not around. He hardly was, anymore.

So he had just thought it on Aomine’s behalf, “You’ll just have to try and fit yourself in.”

***

“Stop being so stiff, Midorimachii,” Kise drawled. “We’re just having fun. You need to relax and loosen up!”

Midorima bristled, and got ready to lecture them again about the ridiculousness of their competition on who scored the most individual points last match.

Again, no one had responded. Aomine had disappeared to the school roof immediately after they had won.

This time, Kuroko couldn’t bring himself to ‘fill the void’ (now  _that_  was unintended) left by Aomine’s jokes.

***

Of course, by the time Kuroko and Kagami started playing regularly with Aomine post-Winter Cup, Kuroko wondered why he missed them in the first place anyway.

“Argh, you’re doing it  _too hard_ , Kuroko!” Kagami groaned as he caught Kuroko’s pass. His palms  _hurt_ , damnit!

“Wow, Kagami, I didn’t know you were such a pervert,” Aomine said, smirking. “Can’t handle it when things get a little rough?”

Kagami spluttered, turning bright red. “N-no!” Aomine just shook his head at him, smirking all the way. Kagami glared. “Bastard — you  _know_  what I mean! You  _know_  Kuroko does it too hard!”

Aomine grinned even wider. “Actually, no, I wouldn’t know. Better question is, how do  _you_  know?” Kagami gaped, speechless.

“Aomine-kun, shut up,” Kuroko just said. But then he smiled, and added, “You know I always go hard when I mean it.”

**Author's Note:**

> So I should be ashamed that I wrote a supposed heartwarming friendship story about based on inappropriate double entendres and juvenile jokes, but I’m really not. They are a form of puns, after all. Hope you liked it!


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